hello hello hello
So today it was raining again! I remember having told many people back at home over the years how much i enjoy the rain.. I take it back. I was lying.. just a bad joke.. Truly I am tired of this rain. Its just depressing! The day was a pretty average day.. ......................
except I´ve been noticing lately that I can´t shake this feeling of being alone. I know I have a rotary counselor here, and friends at school, and a magnificent host family, but its just not home .. my friends aren´t the friends I´ve had for years now.. the ones I have so many memories with and insiders between.. My family is great, but they aren´t what Im used to, their hugs are´fulfilling... their good nights just don´t have the warmth or kindness or familiarity to them.
I´m not saying I want to come home. This experience only comes around once in a lifetime.. I wouldn´t let myself come home... This is just one of the rough patches. Everyone said it would come.. I was just so confident, so comfortable, so content .... I never thought this day would come so soon..
I miss chats with my mom... the sibling quarrels and insiders with my brother.. and my dads hugs..... I miss my parents voices. I miss hugging them and I miss seeing them. I miss my brother more than he could ever know or try to understand. I miss the feeling of watching him grow up day to day and feeling like I, as the older sibling, helped.
I miss my grandmas eyes and my grandpas smile... I miss my omas laugh. ...
I miss my friends and their support, and the fun we have together. The insiders we share and the sound of their whispers...........
Taking a step back... I am a mess. My friends here are truly amazing.. the family better than I could have asked for.. yet I am a mess.
I am off to bed. I need sleep. I need sleep and to cuddle with something from home.. something familiar..
I love you all. I miss you all.
Tomorrow will be a new day. An exciting day. A rainy day. A day where I will learn 2 new words.. and talk to someone new. A Thursday.
Dobrou Noc
Anička.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
wow ! Sounds like a bit of homesickness kicking in.Did you finally slow down long enough to let it all sink in? You'll do great kid,and 10 months,no almost 9 months,from now, you'll be home reminiscing about all of your memories and accomplishments.Put a big smile on,we love you more than you'll know.Love Dad.xxoxx
ReplyDeleteUncle Bob says this is very normal and happens to every exchange student about this time. He saw it over and over again at Sardis. It is tough, but you too will get through it. M
ReplyDeleteOMG Anna, I've read your blog twice and both times I shed a tear... Trust your Aunt eh!, Soon you'll be home wishing you were back, so treasure every moment. Can't wait to see your pictures, and listen to your stories. Love you. Kenna
ReplyDelete